by the lovely MS. Emma.
My
boyfriend has an obsession. He likes all the hot young starlets in
Hollywood. He used to do this thing with blank tapes. He would record
the shows they were on, clips of them on Entertainment Tonight or MTV.
Then, when no one was around, he would put the tapes on pause and...
well, you get the idea.
One day I caught him in the act. I went to go take a nap. I was in the
bedroom for two minutes when I decided I wasn't tired. I got up. I
walked to the living room, and there he was. Jerking off to that tape
of Brooke Burke. Or was it an Anna Kornikova tennis match. I don't
remember. Whatever. But I was so surprised, I ran back into our bedroom
and locked the door. For some reason it made me scared. Good thing I
can look back and laugh about it now.
How could I have been so naive to think that he was only waxing the carrot to thoughts of a nude me?
Anyway, I bet you're wondering where I'm going with this....
After that incident, I was pretty upset. How could he not always think
of me while doing that? For a long time, I couldn't handle that
thought. Until one night, I was sitting home alone, watching
'Desperado' on DVD. During the really steamy part (if you've seen the
movie, you know which one I mean!), I started to get a little hot and
bothered. I mean, Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek? Come on! Who
wouldn't get turned on my just looking at those two together. So,
knowing I was alone, I paused the DVD, and had a little fun of my own.
Little did I know my boyfriend had come home early....
After getting caught myself, I finally understood why he did that. So
that nite, we decided to each make a list. It was a list of the 10
famous people we could have if the chance came along. But mostly it was
a 10 famous people we could jerk off to.
Now this is the part where I get to my Hollywood obsessions. Yes, I
have ten of them. A lot of them change every so often, but there are
always a few who stay the same.
My boyfriend picked all not very well known women, while I picked mostly high profile hunks and babes.
Now these are in no particular order, as I would never be able to pick
a definite number one. All of these people get me all hot and bothered.
I have to start out with the hottest men in Hollywood and beyond. The
men who are on almost every women's lists, such as Brad Pitt, Johnny
Depp, and Antonio Banderas. Then comes the 'it right now' guys, like
Orlando Bloom, Clay Aiken and Adam Brody. So right there is 6. Four
more. Bryan White and Tyler Florence top off the guys list. There's 8.
For the last two, I have to pick two very beautiful women. Both classic
beauties. Very stylish, and both very talented. The last two on my list
are Catherine Zeta Jones and Gwen Stefani.
Now, you may not think making a list is an obsession, but there's more.
First, on my computer, is a folder containing pictures I've gotten
online of all the people on my list, in case I need some eye candy. I
have pictures of them up on our refrigerator, I set out to collect all
their various DVDs, books, CDs, and try to Tivo all of the shows they
might be on. Sometimes I'm lucky enough to get a double whammy, like
two actors in the same movie, like Interview With the Vampire (Pitt and
Banderas), Pirates of the Caribbean (Depp and Bloom) and Once Upon a
Time in Mexico (Banderas and Depp). That's like heaven for me.
I think I need to go now... 'Desperado' is calling my name
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