Why did you decide to write the memoir Strip City?
Part of it was personal--like many people who've worked in adult entertainment, I found it ate up a huge part of my consciousness. Even after quitting, I could not put it behind me, emotionally or psychologically. I felt like I was whirling in the Obsess-O-Matic. Writing helped get it all out.
Another part was political--I was hoping to issue a view of stripping that ran counter to the manufactured stereotypes: Hollywood sensationalism and right-wing prudishness and old-school lefty moralizing. I also thought the relentlessly cheery nouveau feminist "sex work is a perfectly legitimate choice" line seemed a little too smooth to be accurate (believe me, I trumpeted that line for the longest time!). Lastly, I thought it might make a fun and informative book for people to read! I wanted the book to have lots of variety and humor, and that's why I took the show on the road, so to speak.
Was the prospect of thousands of strangers being able to read about your feelings, as well as some of your more private thoughts and insights into that part of your life, strange or frightening?
It was more frightening than strange. I mean, no one had done it before — at least not at that level of visibility, and not in that style. I thought strippers would think I was some colossal narc for writing about the negative aspects of stripping. But more than that, I was worried that people who were hostile toward stripping would attack me. And in truth, plenty of them did. Some people wanted me to be their little whore, with dirty stories oozing from my pores, so they felt free to blast me for not being salacious
enough. Others, who were looking for any angle of attack to express their discomfort with the subject matter ran me down for being some sort of rampant exhibitionist, eager to show off my literary cooch on every page. (And yet the book had no centerfold, and no gyno shots in the author photo.
Go figure). But you know what? With a powderkeg subject like stripping that binds together sex and gender struggles and money and intense feeling, the only way you know you're doing it right is if you get that range of extreme response. A polite "that's nice, dearie" means you are not writing close enough to the bone.
I should say, however, that the strippers who've taken the time to let me know they've read the book have been amazing. I never would have expected the simple appreciation of women saying, "Hey, that's my story. Or close enough to my story. Or, hey, that's not my story, but at least you told yours with some humor and dignity. THANK YOU." That's been awesome. Probably the best part.
Do you think it is important for young women to write about their experiences? Why?
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I think it's important, if only for the young woman herself...but there's a difference between writing something and publishing it. Writing is a great means of discovering and organizing your thoughts, and we often fantasize that publishing will automatically validate us and what we've written. But in truth, the process and subsequent benefits of writing form a complete entity--you've found your voice and made your story--and in a way, it's the opposite of publishing. When you have a finished piece of writing in your
hands, you're in complete ownership of your story. Once it's published, however, it's not your story anymore. It's a product, and what happens with that product is out of your control. If you're ready for what might happen as a result, it can be thrilling to get in that roller coaster car and zoom along the track. But if you're not ready, it can be quite traumatic to be so exposed. That's why I don't think people should be in a hurry to publish, especially if it's edgy, personal stuff. There can be a dangerous crash and
burn if you come out with something you're not yet ready to have judged.
But a young woman has time on her side! What may be too raw to publish one year may seem marvelous and okay the next. I do think that people tend to get crazed about publishing, like it's got to happen NOW NOW NOW, but sometimes, your perspective (and your rewrites) get better over time, and
it's better to hold back until all the elements are in place.
Can you tell us about your next project?
It's a secret! But I can say that soon I'll be back to my regularly scheduled career of journalism. I've been away from it for far too long, and I do miss it.
Many
people have an idealized vision of the writing life as a glamorous,
jet-set way to live. What do you say to that? And what is your everyday
life as a writer like?
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If you make enough money, you can certainly go jet-set as a writer. Most of us, however, get our glamour in the form of freebies (traveling for stories on a magazine's dime, dinners that the publishing folks treat you to, swag from people who want you to write about their product). The hard reality is that writing is one of the least lucrative jobs, period. Even writers who pen New York Times bestsellers may find themselves teaching at colleges! One must always be realistic about this. Sometimes, your big checks come from
everything but your books — speaking engagements, teaching, workshops, magazine pieces, heck, even the ol' day job, if you still got one. I'm not complaining, god knows, since I've been able to write professionally for the better part of a decade, but there are no guarantees.My everyday life as a writer, well, it usually involves a lot of cups of tea, loud music, and screening calls. I'm definitely not a regimented 9-to-5 writer. Some weeks, I'm cranking for 12 hours each day, then I won't write at all the week after that. It's a very solitary job, so it can get lonely. I've learned to pencil in some social time during long projects so I don't turn into one of those psycho writers you see in movies, all holed up in a
secluded cabin, with big gnarled hair and a torn bathrobe, surrounded a halo of flies. But truthfully, when I'm working intensely, I tend to let my eyebrows go.
What words of wisdom to you have for aspiring women writers?
Just the basics. It all comes down to this: Don't take rejection personally. Keep charging. Give yourself permission to write several sucky drafts of anything — NO ONE is good on the first try (cf: Hemingway "All first drafts are shit". Repeat as necessary to keep yourself going. Also, in times of self-doubt, read a crappy book, not an awesome one. If a crap book can get published, then what's stopping you? Another writer gave me this tip. It's petty, but it works!
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What book are you reading now?
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"Bastard Out of Carolina," for the millionth time. So good it makes you
wanna quit (please reference previous answer).
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> And the personals...
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What were you like in the 7th grade?
Smart, music-obsessed, self-conscious, and, uh, kinda ugly, to be perfectly
frank.
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Have you attended any of your high school reunions? If so, what happened?
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I went to my 10th reunion (the only one we've had so far), and I had cooked up this huge "I'm so fabulous" revenge spree, like in "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion." I was a punkish Goth in high school and got made fun of all the time. In fact, I went to an "alternative" high school for my diploma because I couldn't stand going to my regular school any longer. But I felt perfectly entitled to show up at the reunion anyway. In ten years, I had morphed from alterna-chick into a bona fide New York media type, from my
salon highlights to my silly all-black ensemble of leather pants, turtleneck sweater, and ski parka. I walked into the reunion, like, "Dudes, I so totally rock, and you so totally suck." But, much like Romy's Post-It note humiliation, I was soon humbled. It turned out that my superiority was for naught. Nobody who I hated in high school even remembered making fun of me, and no one gave me any attitude for showing up. I think the head of the girl's clique even hugged me. Apparently, all that hostility I held in for a decade was one-sided! Live and learn and let it go.
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