When I was sixteen I decided to be a rockstar, and I cried because I knew how difficult it would be. I am still crying. God, I wish I had done something else, it was such a bad decision. Now I just want to be a TV star. Show biz is just terrible. It's like a drug you can never escape from. I have tried to quit show biz many times, only to get pulled back into it. And I have spent SO much money, just about all my money trying to make it in show biz. It's so sad and pathetic.

It seems to be impossible for me to live any kind of normal life or have any kind of relationship that is normal. It's all twisted and messed up. But I have to accept the fact that I am bored with normal life. Normal men are just so boring, so I go after these terrible sexy exciting broke drug addicts, rockstars, moviestars, just anyone or anything that will never ever work out or ever make anyone happy.

You've done movies, CDs,and photo layouts. What's next for The Nuns?

OK, this is really great. We have been negotiating with a very large TV station, national TV about this new TV show that I created. I filmed the pilot myself, edited it myself, and somehow wangled the E-Mail addresses of one of the TV bigshots and got him interested. Six months later, we have gotten it into the very top people in LA, and they asked me to fly down and meet with them. I actually rehearsed this meeting a million times, so that when I went in, I was so prepared, I did a really great meeting I think. I even made spiral bound booklets with the description of the TV show and 44 future episodes, I mean, I was PREPARED. They even remarked about how professional I was!!! So that was about three weeks ago, and they haven't said no. But they don't just GIVE it to you right away, and this project is now in the hands of the very top executives.

If I get this TV show, I will get everything. Everything. But it is the weirdest thing, a lot of people got really jealous and cut me off, especially the boys I know. As soon as I got back from this big meeting in LA, they all just turned on me, and I literally got kicked out of the club we used to hang out in because the club owner got so jealous!!! I guess because if I get this TV show I will have more power, it must be a power/sex/jealousy thing. Men hate it when you have more power than they do. But it is still upsetting when everyone turns on you. These last few weeks have been really tough, it's like all or nothing.

But I am really in the running, I might really get this show, Then I might have to take down all my sexy websites!!!! www.nyrock.com/the_nuns/ nuns.html and www.thenunsonline.com.

Why did you get new boobies?

I actually did the breasts for this English director that I was in love with who promised me the lead in all of his upcoming films. I know it was silly of me to get caught up in this kind of nonsense, but anyway, it turned out that the man was insane and completely broke and of course lied about everything. I think he is in jail now.

But I am SO glad I had the breasts done, I mean I LOVE LOVE LOVE them so much!! I think the doctor (Dr. Brad Jacobs in NYC) did a wonderful job, just the best.

If I get this TV show, it is because of my new breasts, and I know that, because during the pilot, I am wearing this skimpy outfit with tons of cleavage. I mean, I shot this pilot right after I got the breasts. It's the best thing I have ever done, I cannot stress enough how pleased I am with them, and how much men just seem to LOVE them!!!!!

Describe the day you discovered your talent for domination.

I have no talent for domination, men just walk all over me. It really does not turn me on at all to dominate men. But I LOOK like a dominatrix, I look very dominant. So this is my big problem. I look like this ice cold bitch, but in my mind I am living in a Jane Austen novel. I actually read a lot of Jane Austen books and watch Merchant Ivory films. It sort of comforts me to know that girls had problems with boys even hundreds of years ago, and the same problems.

What is the one sex toy or fetish you just can't live without?

Well, toys I find kind of silly and embarrassing to even talk about, but I seem to be forever stuck in this "fetish." I guess you could call it with falling in love with men who are mean to me, impossible situations that make me miserable, so that must mean that I am a masochist, because I get into these terrible relationships over and over: Men that have girlfriends, and live with other girls, men that treat me badly, rockstar and movie stars that use me. I mean, it is glamorous and they are sexy and exciting, but nothing you could ever hold onto or depend upon. I know this is not exactly the kind of thing you would expect to hear from me, but since you asked me, I am going to vent.