1. Cheap makeup: I swear by Wet and Wild and anything you can get at Duane Reade for 99 cents. The lipsticks, eye shadow, cover sticks and shadow applicators are all perfect. I honestly cannot tell the difference between cheap eye shadow and expensive eye shadow.

For foundation, you have to spend a little more. Try the discount Cosmetic Mart, where you can get name brands like L'oreal or Lancome for about $4.99, same with powder compacts. Sometimes you can even get L'oreal at Jack's 99 cent store!

For a really cheap glamour trick, buy that one Chanel powder compact, and just save it for those big evenings, and put lots of powder on the puff so you don't run out....

2. Clothes: A simple black dress need not cost a lot, but you can make it look like a million bucks with the right accessories, hair and makeup. Shop anywhere for a basic little black dress. It goes anywhere and looks right anywhere.

Mail order. I know it sounds horrible, but it is so CHEAP and they give you tons of credit!!! Just send it back if it is horrible. I have tons of great suits from Chadwicks. Put a brooch on, and you look like you are wearing a Chanel suit!

3. Handbag: Try to get crocodile embossed leather bags, they look SUPER expensive, and some people will think that it is REAL crocodile... Even the leather crocodile is getting expensive though... Not cheap... But glamorous.

4. Club wear: The basic punk/gothic fashions never change, so no need to buy a new outfit. Just slap on a corset, and some burgundy lipstick and call it goth!

5. Make friends with glamorous famous people: Hanging out and dating celebrities is about as glamorous as you can get, but it takes work. Just getting their attention, getting past the assistants, girlfriends, wives and jealous wanna-bes is a real trick... But if you want to go to parties in mansions, fly all over the world, get backstage and front row center for next to nothing, definitely date the big shots!

6. Think glamorous thoughts: You can be glamorous just by THINKING glamorous thoughts. Before you answer that important phone call, think to yourself, "What would Lauren Bacall say?" If you don't know who Lauren Bacall is, then rent "To Have and Have Not" and take notes... Lauren Bacall is all about glamour. I guess you could say that she is Glamour 1 in the glamour handbook.

7. Study glamorous women: Study the way they dress, talk, eat, move, think. Read Vogue, watch glamorous films. Here is a partial list of definite glamour girl DO'S:Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, Lauren Bacall, Marilyn Monroe, Jean Harlow, Marlene Dietrich, Greta Garbo, Rita Hayworth…

THE LIST GOES ON, any glamorous model or actress that you like but study study study. Glamour is a way of BEING! If you think glamorous thoughts, you will BE glamorous!

8. Skin Care: I swear by Ivory Soap to cleanse my face, and Vaseline as eye cream!!! And SUNBLOCK, always wear sunblock at least on your face. You can get the cheapest sunblock at Jack's 99 cent and/or Duane Reade.

9. Hair Care: Most of the time, I just use Alberto VO5 Shampoo, which costs about $1.50. For a more important date, sometimes I get Pantene on sale. Pantene is really the best. I stay with a simple style, just long and straight, and never even go to the hairdresser to trim it!! Just blow dry it straight, slap on a dress, and there you go!

I also color my own hair, which is a bit tricky, I guess I would not recommend coloring your own hair unless you know what you are doing. But if you can do it, coloring your own hair will save you THOUSANDS of dollars.

10. Fake it with jewelry: You can find really nice jewelry that looks expensive. Especially in Manhattan, in the garment district you can get wholesale jewelry for say, $3 for a gorgeous brooch (I am wearing this now!!) I have actually purchased a retro-look necklace and earring set that cost $7.50. I wore it to the opening of Asprey in New York on Fifth Avenue and they thought it was REAL diamonds and a vintage piece!

11. Dream glamorous dreams. I actually DREAMT about glamour last night! I was wearing a red sequined, low cut halter evening gown, and I was onstage singing about glamour!

Pleasant glamour dreams to all!

Other stories by Mistress Jennifer:

Trophy Wife or Peanut Butter Sandwiches

An interview with Mistress Jennifer of the Nuns